Unsent Letters #5

Dear Ice Dispenser:

First, let me just say that I appreciate having you. It’s so nice to be able to get ice without wrangling an ice tray; to not have to worry about whether someone used all the ice cubes except one, and didn’t fill the tray back up; to have “ice on demand” when I need a cold glass of water.

But there’s a little tiny thing I’d like you to work on.

You see, the ideal number of ice cubes for a glass of water is…well, maybe 3-5 cubes. But you? You either give me zero (just grinding away in there), or maybe one…..or about 12 ice cubes all at once, causing ice to go skittering across the kitchen floor in all directions.

This is just not going to work. Please try to dispense a few at a time. Not zero. And not twelve.

Sound good? I appreciate it.

Someone who gets weary of chasing ice cubes around the floor

Dear Charlie:

Charlie the catLook. I understand that life is stressful. And I understand that — — okay, maybe I don’t exactly understand…but I’ve come to realize….that when you are stressed out, you sometimes need to eat as much dry cat food as you can at a time. And then later, well, you need to puke.

For years now, I’ve tolerated this behavior. I’m the one who, 98% of the time, cleans up your messes. I’ve even put up with the fact that you always — ALWAYS — puke on the white carpet, instead of somewhere easy to clean up. Like, say…the tiled laundry room floor (that would be WAY better, just sayin’).

But the other night, when I came downstairs to grab something right before going to sleep…and I stepped in a pile of cat puke…right in the very middle of the traffic flow area in the living room…that was really too much.

Seriously, if you’re going to puke, and if you’re going to puke as soon as I head upstairs, but before I fall asleep, could you maybe do it off to the side a little? Somewhere not directly where I might walk in the dark, but where I would still see it in the morning’s light?

Just something to consider.

The one to whom you owe your very life

Dear Water Company:

The truth is, the “boil water advisory” we had last week was an inconvenience. I mean, I’m glad that ultimately, no “disease-causing organisms” were found in the water, but whatever happened to cause a filter malfunction on your end…well, it was kind of a hassle for the rest of us.

Boiling water just to wash and rinse dishes? Not fun. Waiting hours for boiled water to cool enough to put in the fridge? Also not fun.

But I have to tell you, it was a wake-up call for me.

How many things in my first-world existence do I take for granted? I realized last week that I basically never think about the water available to me.

It’s there, I use it, that’s it. I turn it on when I want. I drink what I want. I use as much as I want.

I never worry about whether it’s safe, whether it’s drinkable, whether it’s clean. I never have to prepare it or sanitize it or really think about it at all as I go through my daily existence.

Yet I know there are many people in the world who don’t have this luxury. And last week, I was reminded of them, and reminded to be thankful.

So I’m not saying you should go around letting your filters break all the time, or anything like that. I’m just saying, it’s okay. There was a lesson there for me to learn.

One of your customers, who is gratefully drinking clean water today

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